STYLE SKINNY: Natural Hair

08/09/2013

5 Ways to Get your Man to Understand and Appreciate your Natural Hair

photo via tumblr.com/tagged/happy-couples

Whether you just began the transitional process of growing out your relaxer, recently big chopped, or you've had natural hair for a while...it's hard enough at times for us to learn how to maintain and understand our own new locs... trying to get a significant other on the band wagon can be just as much of a hassle. Many men (many people for that matter) dislike change. So, let’s be real, for him to see you going from straight flowing locks or a wavy weave to something like a teeny weenie afro, can be more than traumatizing.

So, to help you both out, I've compiled this list of ways to get your man "in the know" about natural hair. With a little knowlege, pretty soon, he'll be your biggest cheerleader!

My disclaimer: I understand that you may be thinking, "Girl I don’t give a flying two cents what that man thinks, Ima do me! Ima buzz cut my ish! Ima look just like Hallie! Move over Bey!" Well, good for you. I aint knocking you. This blog post has nothing to do with girl power, Ms. Berry, or trying to please someone. This has everything to do with giving someone the knowledge that you have received, guiding them in a gentle way that they can understand, and finally possibly getting to the point where they too share in the amazingness that is your HAIR!

photo via ashytoclassy.net

1. Have a Movie Night featuring, "Good Hair". If you want a man to understand, you have to speak HIS language... or in this case, have Chris Rock speak to him for you. Good Hair is a movie that will give your dude a crash course on everything related to African American/black hair. Chris takes viewers on a raw and hilarious journey through natural and relaxed/permed hair, touching on main stream media's reaction to kinks and curls, black hair history and even taking us to the countries' who's women supply us with weave hair. Good Hair is a must for introducing natural hair concepts to men. Hit up NetFlix or Redbox today!

2. Let that Man Touch It! YES! PLEASE! You know he’s going to have to feel it one day! Stop hiding! As your hair grows out, let him touch your new growth. Let him feel it when its super dry and super moisturized... flat ironed, or kinky. Let him touch your hair so he can get to know it too for the first time, like YOU had to. Every man that I've ever spoken too, whether they like weaves or hate them, has claimed that they like to play to some extent in a woman's hair. Now, I'm not one for too much playing, unless a long 'put you to sleep' scalp massage is attached to it. But hey... you do what you're comfortable with.

3. Show Him some Hair Porn. Now, don’t go getting your panties in a bunch. I'm not referring to actual PORN. Hair Porn can be just a photo or video of any hair style that you love. Show him what you are striving for, in terms of your hair goals. Men are visual. They need to SEE it to UNDERSTAND IT. I personally would (and still do) send photos of amazing natural hair styles to my boyfriend or @ him on awesome Instagram pics. Now he's sending ME hair articles and natural hair Youtube videos that he's researched and likes!

4. Have a CONVERSATION. You have made the choice to change your hair, and you had every right to do whatever it is that you did. Sometimes it helps to sit your man down and have a clear and concise conversation on your choices. Sometimes it’s not that serious... but if you're reading this article, I'm assuming that your situation may be in need of a little help. Talking about why you made the decision to go Natural, and answering any questions he has, may clear up some confusion on his end.

photo via EbonyNaturalRose.com

5. Know When to Say NO. If you have done all of the above mentioned, and still feel like your dude isn’t down for the coily curl count… it may be time to just give it up. Some men, do not prefer natural hair styles, and that is absolutely fine. If you two as a couple can continue to thrive and be happy regardless of his preference, than more power to you. However, In my opinion, you should be the most beautiful woman in your significant others eyes, and if he can’t even appreciate your natural beauty, than my advice is to hop on the next Natural Hair train and chu chu your way on out of there.

Check out this story HERE from Curly Nikki titled: He Doesn't Hate It, But He Doesn't Love It.

Your opinions are welcomed, as I merely gave my own. (comment below)

xoxo, SBG

Posted at 12:20 PM in Natural Hair | Permalink | Comments (0)

06/01/2013

Results May Vary: Understanding the Positive Effects of Trial and Error for Natural Hair Girls

To this day, it still surprises me when random strangers stop to ask questions about my hair. "How do you get your hair like that?"..."What products do you use?"..."Where can I get those products?"...

...and while I'm surprised, I'm still elated to hear these questions. I love "hair talk," especially about natural hair, and the fact that anyone deems me knowledgable enough to give them even a bit of advice makes me feel like I'm doing something right in this crazy natural hair game!

HOWEVER... I WISH that at the end of every conversation the voice of that guy from the AllState Insurance commercials (you know...the love interest of Whitney Houston, in Waiting to Exhale) would bellow from the sky, and quickly say in auction style, "Individual Results May Vary from Curl to Curl and Kink to Coil"

Let me make a quick point...I love to help empower women all over, -especially young women- to either create or nurture their self esteem, and develop an awareness for their own natural and inner beauty. So, please know that these thoughts don't come from a lack of wanting to stop and answer a few questions... They come from the experience of knowing that in using beauty and hair products, not every solution is EVERYONE's SOLUTION. ...and unfortunately, many people do not know this, or just plainly don't want to hear or believe it.

I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how many different products I've tried over the years... Not only have I tried different products, but I've tried different methods. Different ways of shampooing, conditioning, executing hair masks, oils treatments,detangling methods... long term regimens, short term regiments... I mean... the list goes on and on, and I've only been natural for about 2.5 years! Sometimes my hair has turned out exactly like the youtube video tutorial I watched... other times, uhh... not so much.

My first attempt at KimLuv's 40's Protective Style (2.5 yrs ago) View it HERE

I've even gone to a salon that a natural hair celebrity swears by, because of the 'treatments' and 'methods' they use, only to end up with hard crunchy hair, a mushroom style (it was very unattractive,trust.) and water down by back from a bad shampoo job. This place will remain nameless.

Furthermore, this isn't a newsflash, but I need to say it...All hair is not the same. The hair on our own head varies from section to section. The outer perimeter of my hair, for example, is tightly coiled. Some may classify it as 4a. The center of my head however grows in a loose wave....and then there is a random chunk of strands at the center of my right side, parallel to the tip of my ear. This chunk of hair is BONE STRAIGHT. Water, curling pudding, gels... NOTHING can make this strong band of solders march. They just hang in military order until I bobby pin them into submission against my scalp.

So, I say all this to explain that the hair you see on top of my head is a result of many tried and failed operations. This however is the beauty of the process and journey of maintaining natural hair. Trial and Error...Learning, is the key to having fantastic hair. This is the FUN part!

One of my first attempts at FusionofCultures' Twist Out/Roller Set. So tiny! (2 years ago) View the Tutorial HERE

I am in no way advocating seclusion when it comes to discovering natural hair products and methods. In fact, I am all for it! My advice, however is to strive for good results, know that you will have to experience trial and error, and don't necessarily expect your results to be the same as someone else's. We are all different and our hair, like our bodies, react to different treatments. Test out some things and see what works best for YOU! -SBG

Posted at 06:08 PM in Natural Hair | Permalink | Comments (2)

05/29/2013

CurlBox: Motions Radiating Gloss Review

Jacket: Urban Outfitters * Skirt: Nordstrom Rack * Bag: FENDI * Bracelet: Forever21 * Earrings: ALDO * Lip: NARS, Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Cruella * T-Shirt Kings Rule Together

Its no secret... I'm a straight up Curlbox FAN! Once a month the great folks over at Curlbox...lovingly deemed the "CurlBoxCrew," mail myself (and loads of others) a box of full sized hair product, samples of products, and a variety of other fun hair treats, all geared towards those with curls, koils, and kinks.

I personally find this service beneficial as it helps me to not go broke while still fulfilling my beauty product addiction. Some call my 'kind' a - Product Junky. haha. By getting shampoos, conditioners, oils, and the likes by a variety of different brands monthly, I'm able to test out different products and find out what works best for my hair. ...and of course I love to do Product Reviews for you all... so the more products I acquire, the more I can try out, and thus review!

For the month of May, my favorite product found in my Curlbox comes from the brand Motions' "Naturally You" line. Motions Radiating Gloss is now a new staple in my hair regiment for three reasons.

1. BOMB INGREDIENTS. This product has been formulated with the ingredients shea butter, coconut oil and avocado oil. As discussed in prior posts, most oils are used to coat the hair strand and seal in moisture already within the strand. On a molecular level, many oils are too thick to penetrate the hair. Many oils EXCEPT... you guessed it - coconut and avocado. (olive too). Now, these oils cannot fully get through to the core of the hair strand but they can sneak in a bit, and every natural hair gal knows, all we want is more moisture. we want more, we want more, we really really want more!! Click HERE for more information on oil penetration.

2. PACKAGE PERFECTION. Let me just say that this product comes in an excellent -ergonomically correct- bottle. The weirdest things mean a lot to me as a consumer, and shape and usage of bottle, container, or spray can make a huge difference is whether or not I purchase something long term. This bottle has an easy pump top... not to little and not to much of the oily mixture comes out, and I can easily grip it without slippage. I really dislike it when I cant hold a bottle with one hand and simultaneously pump or squeeze the trigger.

3. SHINE ON! This product really made my curls shine the first day I used it, as evident of the photos in this post, however I was more amazed at my second, third and forth day of usage. Usually after day 1 of a braid out, I loose all traces of sheen, regardless of whether I sleep on a silk pillow case. Over the years, to prevent this, I've used straight unrefined coconut oil, which I love, but it tends to be thick and goopy at times (Yes, I said goopy... like globy...chunky... you know what I mean.). Motion's Radiating Glosser is lightweight and makes my day old hair feel super soft. Its the best antidote for smashed bed-head curls as well. Seriously!

So, anyways, these are the reasons for which I love the Motions Radiating Gloss product and would ya believe?... the CurlboxCrew made me a MayCurlBox Winner for posting my photo, product, and results. Yay! Till next time... xoxo, SBG (Click HERE for additional PHOTOS from the "Young Queen" Shoot!)