photo via tumblr.com/tagged/happy-couples
Whether you just began the transitional process of growing out your relaxer, recently big chopped, or you've had natural hair for a while...it's hard enough at times for us to learn how to maintain and understand our own new locs... trying to get a significant other on the band wagon can be just as much of a hassle. Many men (many people for that matter) dislike change. So, let’s be real, for him to see you going from straight flowing locks or a wavy weave to something like a teeny weenie afro, can be more than traumatizing.
So, to help you both out, I've compiled this list of ways to get your man "in the know" about natural hair. With a little knowlege, pretty soon, he'll be your biggest cheerleader!
My disclaimer: I understand that you may be thinking, "Girl I don’t give a flying two cents what that man thinks, Ima do me! Ima buzz cut my ish! Ima look just like Hallie! Move over Bey!" Well, good for you. I aint knocking you. This blog post has nothing to do with girl power, Ms. Berry, or trying to please someone. This has everything to do with giving someone the knowledge that you have received, guiding them in a gentle way that they can understand, and finally possibly getting to the point where they too share in the amazingness that is your HAIR!
1. Have a Movie Night featuring, "Good Hair". If you want a man to understand, you have to speak HIS language... or in this case, have Chris Rock speak to him for you. Good Hair is a movie that will give your dude a crash course on everything related to African American/black hair. Chris takes viewers on a raw and hilarious journey through natural and relaxed/permed hair, touching on main stream media's reaction to kinks and curls, black hair history and even taking us to the countries' who's women supply us with weave hair. Good Hair is a must for introducing natural hair concepts to men. Hit up NetFlix or Redbox today!
2. Let that Man Touch It! YES! PLEASE! You know he’s going to have to feel it one day! Stop hiding! As your hair grows out, let him touch your new growth. Let him feel it when its super dry and super moisturized... flat ironed, or kinky. Let him touch your hair so he can get to know it too for the first time, like YOU had to. Every man that I've ever spoken too, whether they like weaves or hate them, has claimed that they like to play to some extent in a woman's hair. Now, I'm not one for too much playing, unless a long 'put you to sleep' scalp massage is attached to it. But hey... you do what you're comfortable with.
3. Show Him some Hair Porn. Now, don’t go getting your panties in a bunch. I'm not referring to actual PORN. Hair Porn can be just a photo or video of any hair style that you love. Show him what you are striving for, in terms of your hair goals. Men are visual. They need to SEE it to UNDERSTAND IT. I personally would (and still do) send photos of amazing natural hair styles to my boyfriend or @ him on awesome Instagram pics. Now he's sending ME hair articles and natural hair Youtube videos that he's researched and likes!
4. Have a CONVERSATION. You have made the choice to change your hair, and you had every right to do whatever it is that you did. Sometimes it helps to sit your man down and have a clear and concise conversation on your choices. Sometimes it’s not that serious... but if you're reading this article, I'm assuming that your situation may be in need of a little help. Talking about why you made the decision to go Natural, and answering any questions he has, may clear up some confusion on his end.
5. Know When to Say NO. If you have done all of the above mentioned, and still feel like your dude isn’t down for the coily curl count… it may be time to just give it up. Some men, do not prefer natural hair styles, and that is absolutely fine. If you two as a couple can continue to thrive and be happy regardless of his preference, than more power to you. However, In my opinion, you should be the most beautiful woman in your significant others eyes, and if he can’t even appreciate your natural beauty, than my advice is to hop on the next Natural Hair train and chu chu your way on out of there.
Check out this story HERE from Curly Nikki titled: He Doesn't Hate It, But He Doesn't Love It.
Your opinions are welcomed, as I merely gave my own. (comment below)